Tuesday, February 03, 2009

the past few weeks, the past few years

Wilfred lost his right eye and is reorienting himself with such good spirits. I cannot even imagine the shock. Alex is still locked up. The injustice of the system walks with me everyday through his letters and our visits. Jerry and Topsy both have lung cancer and are loosing their hair and strength. I shaved Jerry's head bald yesterday. Sweet, "Smiley" James was in the hospital yet again last week with a blood infection that causes his arms and legs to swell up enormously. He missed a court date while he was in the hospital and although the hospital faxed a letter to the court, he is currently locked up for failure to appear and has to remain in jail until he next court date late march. The injustice of this pains me to no end. Reggie came over to do laundry today. What a gem. He is in a lot of pain daily, seizing several times a week, even with the medicine he takes. He is still waiting to hear about his disability application, which will most likely take another year or two. The past two weeks have been extremely difficult emotionally to watch the fast decline of Philip "Pops" struggle with 4th stage lung cancer. He is a brilliant man, with so much tenderness and sass. He seems to by dying, struggling for each breath, and it is so hard not to be able to alleviate his pain at all. I am still in a state of shock I suppose. Last week we talked about going to see 'Marley and Me' when he got out of the hospital, and now he can barely speak. He kissed me goodbye today and it was hard to hold back the tears. Each time I leave I wonder if I will see him again and if I said how much I love him and what a gift he is to me and how much he lights up my life.

As we moved Pops out of his subsidized housing and into a nursing home, we moved Harold in . . . quite bitter sweet. Harold is able to use a lot of the items Pops no longer needs. Harold and I had an adventuresome time finding a couch on the side of the road and loading it into the van. He told me an amazing story about when he was 7 years old he walked under a swing set and he was hit hard in the head. They rushed him to the ER and the doctor told him he had the toughest skull he had ever seen and he has never had a headache since. Harold is such a genuine person. Tuesday I saw Tony after 5 months of his being away at jail. They dropped his charges and he lost 5more months of his life locked up for no reason at all. But it was such a great surprise to see him! He is always motivating me to do yoga and take time to stop and meditate. Willie is from New Orleans. The mere sight of him makes me smile ear to ear. Our friendship continues to grow slowly. He made my day on Tuesday when he asked me for a hug. It is such a gift to be asked for a hug from a friend. Recently Landa recovered from hip surgery and has an awesome apartment in Hampton. We talked about double dating with him and his lady sometime in the near future. Lisa's health is declining but not her spirit. She keeps me laughing and helps connect me to what is real. Lisa is my best friend. . . . I could not ask for more than to be connected to both the pain and the delight of friendship.